Happy Passing Year

Last year at this time, I thought I was headed for a new year. I thought 2015 would be the year I got closer to perfect. I had thought that for 2014 too. And for 2013 before that. I don't seem to learn. I struggle to follow my own counsel, when it comes right down to it.

Sitting in my office, looking out at a grey sky as the eve of 2016 falls, I re-evaluate my intentions for the coming year. I realize this:

I am forever in between.

I am enough as I am.

I can strive healthily
(but that has nothing to do with perfection. Brene Brown taught me that).

I don't need to hold tight to goals as I move into the new year. I just need to keep deepening into my values, especially that of Creativity. And Faith (in myself most of all). 

I need to surrender to being more of who I am, and to let go of trying to be anything else.

I need to trust that that is enough.

I. Am. Enough.

I will sit at a small round table tonight, surrounded by a bay window, with a candle burning. I will eat my dinner slowly. I will reflect on what has passed. I will be present. I will be alive to all that can be. 

I will be alive to myself, those I love, those I care for.

There is nothing else to do. No one else to be.

I repeat this blessing to myself:

I am enough.